So today was the big day! I had my ultrasound appointment this morning to find out when we could proceed with stimulation meds. Unfortunately one of my ovaries still has a follicle (an egg) so we need to do birth control for another week. I have another appointment next Tuesday for an ultrasound and should be able to start meds then. My doctor is not concerned in the slightest, this is just one of those processes that is always up in the air and very unpredictable.
I was pretty disappointed after the appointment. Certainly not devastated by any means, just disappointed that I'm still a week away from really getting this going. I'm hoping the next week goes by quickly. Keep sending your good thoughts! We need them!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Meds are here Post 9
Meds from Europe just arrived! Everything I need is now here! (the mini biohazard container is my favorite!) The small vials are what the meds come in. This picture is of the sodium chloride vials that I will mix the medications with before injecting them.
Post 8
Just watching the View and it happens to be about infertility. (June is infertility awareness month). This episode is focusing on surrogacy, but the ladies are also talking about in-vitro.
Guiliana Rancic explained that her and her husband are having fertility problems and it's so difficult because they felt like they were winners--whatever they set their mind to, they accomplished. Getting pregnant is the ONE thing that you can't just go out and accomplish--no matter how hard you want it.
I have said the exact same thing over the past year. For anyone who knows me, they know that if I want something, I go out and get it. I don't like sitting around and waiting for something to happen. Getting pregnant has been the biggest trial in patience that I have ever gone through. Sometimes I say that God is trying to teach me an important life lesson in patience--and then I say, "Okay, God! I got it! I need to patient! Can I have a baby now, please?" And although part of that is a joke, I do think the universe...God...whomever, has a plan for us. I know that when Chris and I look into our child's eyes we won't be able to imagine any other journey to get to that perfect baby.
When I think about it though, Chris and I have been as proactive as possible in this process. Sometimes I feel guilty when I hear about other women who have tried to get pregnant for five years and are just now starting IVF. They've been trying so much longer than us! But if we don't do IVF now, we would eventually be trying for 5 years with probably no results. When Chris and I didn't get pregnant after 6 months, we went to the doctor. Some people thought that was a little early, but as my fertility doctor will tell you, if you aren't pregnant naturally after 6 months, there's a good chance you need some medical intervention. I was aggressive in getting Chris tested and making appointments as quickly as I could. Even with the IVF process we've been proactive. We did IUI (insemination) twice. Most couples who conceive with this process do so in 3-4 cycles. So we could have kept trying with IUI, However, if we continue to try IUI, we would be doing in-vitro during the school year. Since I have job that allows me to be off for a few months, we decided to just go for the in-vitro. Our doctor truly thinks this is our best chance for success and Chris' sperm count has not improved over the past months of IUI.
So watching these stories of surrogacy have been very interesting. It doesn't really apply to our situation since there is no evidence to suggest I won't be able to carry children, but I can't imagine what a difficult decision it would be to use a surrogate. So scary!
Waiting for Tuesday to get here so I can know what the next steps are!
Guiliana Rancic explained that her and her husband are having fertility problems and it's so difficult because they felt like they were winners--whatever they set their mind to, they accomplished. Getting pregnant is the ONE thing that you can't just go out and accomplish--no matter how hard you want it.
I have said the exact same thing over the past year. For anyone who knows me, they know that if I want something, I go out and get it. I don't like sitting around and waiting for something to happen. Getting pregnant has been the biggest trial in patience that I have ever gone through. Sometimes I say that God is trying to teach me an important life lesson in patience--and then I say, "Okay, God! I got it! I need to patient! Can I have a baby now, please?" And although part of that is a joke, I do think the universe...God...whomever, has a plan for us. I know that when Chris and I look into our child's eyes we won't be able to imagine any other journey to get to that perfect baby.
When I think about it though, Chris and I have been as proactive as possible in this process. Sometimes I feel guilty when I hear about other women who have tried to get pregnant for five years and are just now starting IVF. They've been trying so much longer than us! But if we don't do IVF now, we would eventually be trying for 5 years with probably no results. When Chris and I didn't get pregnant after 6 months, we went to the doctor. Some people thought that was a little early, but as my fertility doctor will tell you, if you aren't pregnant naturally after 6 months, there's a good chance you need some medical intervention. I was aggressive in getting Chris tested and making appointments as quickly as I could. Even with the IVF process we've been proactive. We did IUI (insemination) twice. Most couples who conceive with this process do so in 3-4 cycles. So we could have kept trying with IUI, However, if we continue to try IUI, we would be doing in-vitro during the school year. Since I have job that allows me to be off for a few months, we decided to just go for the in-vitro. Our doctor truly thinks this is our best chance for success and Chris' sperm count has not improved over the past months of IUI.
So watching these stories of surrogacy have been very interesting. It doesn't really apply to our situation since there is no evidence to suggest I won't be able to carry children, but I can't imagine what a difficult decision it would be to use a surrogate. So scary!
Waiting for Tuesday to get here so I can know what the next steps are!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Post 7
Okay, quick update. I received my first set of medications today in the mail. I am now just waiting for the meds from Europe. My ultrasound is next Tuesday and then I'll know when I'm going to start injections and a probable date for egg retrieval.
In other more important news, Chris' parents have offered to help us pay for the IVF. We couldn't feel more blessed or lucky to have their help. We know that you all have helped us in your own way--with love, support, and encouraging words. We cannot thank you enough.
I just talked to my brother on the phone. He made fun of me for writing this blog (told you I would call you out Boo!). I think it does help me deal with things because I have an outlet. Sometimes just knowing that I could write down my feelings helps me deal with things.
Getting the meds today was scary. It makes it so much more real. I am nervous about mixing the drugs and injecting and all that, but I would put my body through anything if it meant we had a baby in the end. My biggest fear is that we will go through all this and still not end up with a baby. I try not to think of that because I know our chances are so good, but its one of those dark thoughts that is always in the back of your mind no matter how positive you try to be.
Chris and I celebrated our one year anniversary this weekend with a staycation downtown. It was so fun and I think we really needed it. We only talked about the IVF situation once... we definitely needed a break from thinking about it. When we did talk about it, we just said how glad we both were that this has brought us closer together and not driven us apart. Although it seems like we're unlucky sometimes, we really are lucky in so many ways.
In other more important news, Chris' parents have offered to help us pay for the IVF. We couldn't feel more blessed or lucky to have their help. We know that you all have helped us in your own way--with love, support, and encouraging words. We cannot thank you enough.
I just talked to my brother on the phone. He made fun of me for writing this blog (told you I would call you out Boo!). I think it does help me deal with things because I have an outlet. Sometimes just knowing that I could write down my feelings helps me deal with things.
Getting the meds today was scary. It makes it so much more real. I am nervous about mixing the drugs and injecting and all that, but I would put my body through anything if it meant we had a baby in the end. My biggest fear is that we will go through all this and still not end up with a baby. I try not to think of that because I know our chances are so good, but its one of those dark thoughts that is always in the back of your mind no matter how positive you try to be.
Chris and I celebrated our one year anniversary this weekend with a staycation downtown. It was so fun and I think we really needed it. We only talked about the IVF situation once... we definitely needed a break from thinking about it. When we did talk about it, we just said how glad we both were that this has brought us closer together and not driven us apart. Although it seems like we're unlucky sometimes, we really are lucky in so many ways.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Where are we now? Post 6
I realized that I didn't exactly make it clear where we currently stand in the IVF process. As of today, Monday June 13th, we are in the very beginning. I have been on birth control since Saturday and Chris and I started our antibiotics today. I have an ultrasound on June 28th to determine when I will start my fertility meds.
I got a shipping confirmation this morning that the meds from Europe are on their way. They should arrive within 2 weeks.
I also was able to call about getting a loan for IVF. I was approved but the interest rate is 15.99%! Ugh! So our monthly payments will be pretty high if we borrow the full amount. We are still trying to figure out exactly what money should go where and exactly how much we will need to borrow.
So that's the update so far. We will keep you posted!
I got a shipping confirmation this morning that the meds from Europe are on their way. They should arrive within 2 weeks.
I also was able to call about getting a loan for IVF. I was approved but the interest rate is 15.99%! Ugh! So our monthly payments will be pretty high if we borrow the full amount. We are still trying to figure out exactly what money should go where and exactly how much we will need to borrow.
So that's the update so far. We will keep you posted!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Counting our blessings Post 5
Counting our blessings. This is what Chris and I are trying to do lately. In the past 3 days we have found out we need to find $12,000 for an IVF cycle, our TV broke, our oven broke, we are looking at cars to replace Chris' and everything seems to be kind of falling apart. Tonight I tried to order my IVF meds online and they only take VISA. Chris' HSA is in a mastercard account so we had to charge the meds and hope we can get reimbursed through the HSA. Sounds small, but it just seems like things are piling up.
But we are counting our blessings. Or at least trying. At times, our mantra has been "This is NOT FAIR!" And it's not. It really isn't. But it is the way it is. There's nothing we could have done to prevent this, but now we have to deal with it. So.... a list of 10 blessings:
1) Each other. We truly are one another's best friends. We are better together than apart and we fill each other's lives with laughter and love. A huge blessing.
2) Our parents. Chris' parents and my mom and Rick have been so supportive it's unreal. They have been there for the tears of this past year and I know they will be right beside us throughout the whole process!
3) Our friends. Our friends are constantly offering their support and encouragement. Thank you!
4) Our house. We live in a house we love so much and it is beautiful!
5) My job. I was hired for the first teaching job I interviewed for and work in an amazing district.
6) Chris' job. Chris just got a new job that came with a raise. So rare these days!
7) Our cats. Maverick, Charlie and Mr. Gray and very important parts of lives. We love them and they give us unconditional love in return.
8) Our cars. They both run!
9) Our health. We might not have the best reproductive health, but we are healthy people with no chronic illnesses!
10) We are both funny. ;-) A few laughs can go a long way in this stressful process! If we didn't laugh through this process, we probably wouldn't make it through!
But we are counting our blessings. Or at least trying. At times, our mantra has been "This is NOT FAIR!" And it's not. It really isn't. But it is the way it is. There's nothing we could have done to prevent this, but now we have to deal with it. So.... a list of 10 blessings:
1) Each other. We truly are one another's best friends. We are better together than apart and we fill each other's lives with laughter and love. A huge blessing.
2) Our parents. Chris' parents and my mom and Rick have been so supportive it's unreal. They have been there for the tears of this past year and I know they will be right beside us throughout the whole process!
3) Our friends. Our friends are constantly offering their support and encouragement. Thank you!
4) Our house. We live in a house we love so much and it is beautiful!
5) My job. I was hired for the first teaching job I interviewed for and work in an amazing district.
6) Chris' job. Chris just got a new job that came with a raise. So rare these days!
7) Our cats. Maverick, Charlie and Mr. Gray and very important parts of lives. We love them and they give us unconditional love in return.
8) Our cars. They both run!
9) Our health. We might not have the best reproductive health, but we are healthy people with no chronic illnesses!
10) We are both funny. ;-) A few laughs can go a long way in this stressful process! If we didn't laugh through this process, we probably wouldn't make it through!
Just the facts-- Post 4
Quick facts about our in-vitro cycle.
Cost: with meds, about $12,000.
Cost with frozen embryos if first attempt doesn't work: $3500.
Cost to keep embryos frozen for one year: $400
Success rate: fresh embryos--60%. My doctor says that due to my age I am an ideal candidate for IVF and he is very confident. Frozen embryos--40%. I told Chris that those stats equal 100% so we're good...he's not sure that's exactly how stats work ;-)
Probability of twins: approx 30%. My personal probability might be a little higher since my uterus doesn't seem to have any problems with implantation or carrying a baby. To be honest, after all this, I think we are hoping for twins so we never have to go through anything like this again!
Chris and I have applied for a grant to get up to $10,000 towards IVF but have not yet heard if we won it. We should be hearing any day!
Cost: with meds, about $12,000.
Cost with frozen embryos if first attempt doesn't work: $3500.
Cost to keep embryos frozen for one year: $400
Success rate: fresh embryos--60%. My doctor says that due to my age I am an ideal candidate for IVF and he is very confident. Frozen embryos--40%. I told Chris that those stats equal 100% so we're good...he's not sure that's exactly how stats work ;-)
Probability of twins: approx 30%. My personal probability might be a little higher since my uterus doesn't seem to have any problems with implantation or carrying a baby. To be honest, after all this, I think we are hoping for twins so we never have to go through anything like this again!
Chris and I have applied for a grant to get up to $10,000 towards IVF but have not yet heard if we won it. We should be hearing any day!
In-Vitro: what does it all mean? Post 3
While some people are familiar with in-vitro, others aren't. For those who don't know much, here is a basic list of events, as I understand them!!!!
Days 1-22: shutdown. Doctors use medication, in my case birth control, to effectively shut down my ovaries. Some women require a drug called Lupron during this time, but I should be fine with just birth control. Chris and I are also both on a 10 day antibiotic to make sure there are no bacteria in our reproductive tract.
Day 22/23: scan. My doctor will conduct an internal ultrasound to check my ovaries. If they appear to be "quiet" we will begin fertility meds.
Day 23-26 ish: injections. The first 4 days of injections are already planned out for me. My doctor recommended getting many of my drugs from Europe because they are so much cheaper. Thanks to a reliable website: ivfmeds.com, we were able to save some dough! I will be on a concoction of medicines that I will mix and then inject myself. These medications will produce "superovulation". We hope to get 5-15 eggs.
Day 26ish: scan. After another scan, the doctor will determine the rest of my injection schedule. How much for how long etc.
Day 33ish: scan. Injections usually last a total of 10 days. At the end of my injection cycle the doctor will scan again and determine when to inject the medicine that actually makes me ovulate. This must be timed precisely right--like only a 5 minute window on either side.
Day 35ish: retrieval. Before leaving home, I will take a valium on retrieval morning. When I get to the office, I will be give more pain meds constituting moderate sedation. I will not need a breathing tube. The doctor will use a camera and a needle to enter my abdomen and basically suck the eggs out of my ovaries. Chris will make a "deposit" and his sperm will literally be injected into each egg in a process called ICSI. Hopefully 7-8 embryos fertilize.
Day 35-37 ish: watch and wait. Doctors will watch our embryos grow. Some will probably stop dividing naturally. After a few days, a decision will be made about a final date for embryo transfer. The number of embryos will affect how long the doctor waits before putting the embryos back in.
Day 38ish: egg transfer. When the doctor has determined that the embryos should be transferred, he will select 2 embryos and put them back in my uterus in a pain-free procedure similar to IUI. There will be some meds to take but the main process is over.
The embryos that were not transferred will be frozen. They can be unfrozen at any point in the future to use in other pregnancy attempts.
Now we wait! 2 weeks after egg transfer I will be able to take a blood test to determine pregnancy. 4 weeks later, an ultrasound will confirm the number of babies growing!
Days 1-22: shutdown. Doctors use medication, in my case birth control, to effectively shut down my ovaries. Some women require a drug called Lupron during this time, but I should be fine with just birth control. Chris and I are also both on a 10 day antibiotic to make sure there are no bacteria in our reproductive tract.
Day 22/23: scan. My doctor will conduct an internal ultrasound to check my ovaries. If they appear to be "quiet" we will begin fertility meds.
Day 23-26 ish: injections. The first 4 days of injections are already planned out for me. My doctor recommended getting many of my drugs from Europe because they are so much cheaper. Thanks to a reliable website: ivfmeds.com, we were able to save some dough! I will be on a concoction of medicines that I will mix and then inject myself. These medications will produce "superovulation". We hope to get 5-15 eggs.
Day 26ish: scan. After another scan, the doctor will determine the rest of my injection schedule. How much for how long etc.
Day 33ish: scan. Injections usually last a total of 10 days. At the end of my injection cycle the doctor will scan again and determine when to inject the medicine that actually makes me ovulate. This must be timed precisely right--like only a 5 minute window on either side.
Day 35ish: retrieval. Before leaving home, I will take a valium on retrieval morning. When I get to the office, I will be give more pain meds constituting moderate sedation. I will not need a breathing tube. The doctor will use a camera and a needle to enter my abdomen and basically suck the eggs out of my ovaries. Chris will make a "deposit" and his sperm will literally be injected into each egg in a process called ICSI. Hopefully 7-8 embryos fertilize.
Day 35-37 ish: watch and wait. Doctors will watch our embryos grow. Some will probably stop dividing naturally. After a few days, a decision will be made about a final date for embryo transfer. The number of embryos will affect how long the doctor waits before putting the embryos back in.
Day 38ish: egg transfer. When the doctor has determined that the embryos should be transferred, he will select 2 embryos and put them back in my uterus in a pain-free procedure similar to IUI. There will be some meds to take but the main process is over.
The embryos that were not transferred will be frozen. They can be unfrozen at any point in the future to use in other pregnancy attempts.
Now we wait! 2 weeks after egg transfer I will be able to take a blood test to determine pregnancy. 4 weeks later, an ultrasound will confirm the number of babies growing!
Background--Post 2
To get this ball rolling, I have decided to just give some background as to our situation and where things currently stand.
June 11, 2010 was the most amazing day of my life. I married my best friend, the love of my life, and spent a day full of friends and family. Chris and I had talked about starting a family since we began dating, and both of us were so excited to have kids. I have always wanted to be a mom, for as long as I can remember. Since I started dating him, Chris would talk about his future kids and all the fun things we couldn't wait to do with them.
It was in this joyful time that we decided to go ahead and starting trying right away to get pregnant. Some of my friends had some difficulty getting pregnant, so we knew the process might take awhile. I figured that you were never really ready for kids, so why wait!
Much to my surprise, after many years on birth control my cycle started normally on its own. I was relieved--at least my body seemed to be doing what it was supposed to! I began using ovulation tests and discovered that I ovulated later in my cycle than is normal. However, most doctors will not consider any infertility consultations until a couple has been trying 6 months.
So for 6 months, we tried, we tested, and we were disappointed. Seeing one pink line on a test got pretty boring after awhile. During this time, I went through lots of phases. In the beginning I would cry every month. I would drive myself crazy by taking TONS of tests--like 3 in one day sometimes. I know that sounds crazy. It is crazy. But if you've tried to get pregnant, you might understand. Every change in my mood, body, feelings, everything was analyzed as a possible pregnancy symptom. By month 4 this began to wear off. I started to take things more in stride. There were no more tears when I found out family and friends were pregnant. No more tears when I saw one pink line.
Eventually I was just praying for month 6 so I could see the doctor. Month 6 came and Chris and I both went to my OBGYN. She tested my blood and found my progesterone level to be a little low. YES! Something! Finally we had something that we could hang out to! She prescribed me Clomid. I was certain this was the boost my body needed. We were finally going to get pregnant!
Only, we didn't. We did another month of Clomid and nothing. In the meantime, I talked to my doctor about getting Chris' sperm tested. Although it wasn't normal protocol to do it this early, she agreed. Chris went for his test, and we waited for the results.
I prayed, and prayed, and prayed, "Please God, let his results be perfect. Let it be me." I knew that bad results on his test would make Chris feel terrible. I did not want him to feel any pain. I wanted it to be me so badly. But it wasn't. It isn't. We got the results and discovered that Chris has low sperm count, poor morphology and poor motility. Basically, there are a few little guys that don't look very normal who swim in circles.
The news was pretty devastating for us especially because we didn't know exactly what it meant. My OBGYN recommended seeing a doctor who specialized in male infertility as well as a reproductive endocrinologist. I knew an RE doctor--friends had recommended him. There is only one doctor who specializes in male infertility here so we scheduled an appointment with both doctors.
LOOOOOONG story short: Despite multiple tests and treatments, Chris' sperm shows no improvement. We decided to do 2 rounds of IUI--intrauterine insemination. These are low cost, no pain procedures. Although it takes the average couple 3 rounds of IUI to get pregnant, we have decided to move on to in-vitro. See the next post for more info!
June 11, 2010 was the most amazing day of my life. I married my best friend, the love of my life, and spent a day full of friends and family. Chris and I had talked about starting a family since we began dating, and both of us were so excited to have kids. I have always wanted to be a mom, for as long as I can remember. Since I started dating him, Chris would talk about his future kids and all the fun things we couldn't wait to do with them.
It was in this joyful time that we decided to go ahead and starting trying right away to get pregnant. Some of my friends had some difficulty getting pregnant, so we knew the process might take awhile. I figured that you were never really ready for kids, so why wait!
Much to my surprise, after many years on birth control my cycle started normally on its own. I was relieved--at least my body seemed to be doing what it was supposed to! I began using ovulation tests and discovered that I ovulated later in my cycle than is normal. However, most doctors will not consider any infertility consultations until a couple has been trying 6 months.
So for 6 months, we tried, we tested, and we were disappointed. Seeing one pink line on a test got pretty boring after awhile. During this time, I went through lots of phases. In the beginning I would cry every month. I would drive myself crazy by taking TONS of tests--like 3 in one day sometimes. I know that sounds crazy. It is crazy. But if you've tried to get pregnant, you might understand. Every change in my mood, body, feelings, everything was analyzed as a possible pregnancy symptom. By month 4 this began to wear off. I started to take things more in stride. There were no more tears when I found out family and friends were pregnant. No more tears when I saw one pink line.
Eventually I was just praying for month 6 so I could see the doctor. Month 6 came and Chris and I both went to my OBGYN. She tested my blood and found my progesterone level to be a little low. YES! Something! Finally we had something that we could hang out to! She prescribed me Clomid. I was certain this was the boost my body needed. We were finally going to get pregnant!
Only, we didn't. We did another month of Clomid and nothing. In the meantime, I talked to my doctor about getting Chris' sperm tested. Although it wasn't normal protocol to do it this early, she agreed. Chris went for his test, and we waited for the results.
I prayed, and prayed, and prayed, "Please God, let his results be perfect. Let it be me." I knew that bad results on his test would make Chris feel terrible. I did not want him to feel any pain. I wanted it to be me so badly. But it wasn't. It isn't. We got the results and discovered that Chris has low sperm count, poor morphology and poor motility. Basically, there are a few little guys that don't look very normal who swim in circles.
The news was pretty devastating for us especially because we didn't know exactly what it meant. My OBGYN recommended seeing a doctor who specialized in male infertility as well as a reproductive endocrinologist. I knew an RE doctor--friends had recommended him. There is only one doctor who specializes in male infertility here so we scheduled an appointment with both doctors.
LOOOOOONG story short: Despite multiple tests and treatments, Chris' sperm shows no improvement. We decided to do 2 rounds of IUI--intrauterine insemination. These are low cost, no pain procedures. Although it takes the average couple 3 rounds of IUI to get pregnant, we have decided to move on to in-vitro. See the next post for more info!
Purpose--Post 1
Hello friends and family,
To start, I want to explain the purpose behind this blog. As many of you know, over the past year Chris and I have been trying to have a baby. This dream has not become a reality for us yet and we are beginning the in-vitro process now. We want everyone to be informed about the process in the most efficient way possible for us! We have decided to share this blog with you so you can have a glimpse into our journey and stay up to date on what's happening.
We could not have made it this far without our friends and family. We cannot thank you enough for your love and support during this difficult time. I think some question our openness with everyone about what we're going through. For us, sharing our journey with others helps us cope and reminds us of all the support we have.
Since I'm on summer break, I should be able to update often so check back to keep up with the latest! Love you all,
Maggie
To start, I want to explain the purpose behind this blog. As many of you know, over the past year Chris and I have been trying to have a baby. This dream has not become a reality for us yet and we are beginning the in-vitro process now. We want everyone to be informed about the process in the most efficient way possible for us! We have decided to share this blog with you so you can have a glimpse into our journey and stay up to date on what's happening.
We could not have made it this far without our friends and family. We cannot thank you enough for your love and support during this difficult time. I think some question our openness with everyone about what we're going through. For us, sharing our journey with others helps us cope and reminds us of all the support we have.
Since I'm on summer break, I should be able to update often so check back to keep up with the latest! Love you all,
Maggie
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