Unexpected News

Hello all,

So today I went for a repeat blood test to make sure my levels were rising as they should, and unfortunately, they weren't. In fact, my hormone levels went from 89 to 52 which basically means I have lost the pregnancy. The dr said basically the egg started to implant, which gave the positive result, but for whatever reason, ended up not fully implanting, giving the now negative result.

They will continue to monitor my levels until they are at 0. I have another test Friday. I have lots of questions for the doctor, like should we try insemination a few more times since it is a relatively low cost procedure? If we were somehow able to get the money together again for IVF does he think it would work? Would he do anything differently? Does he now think there is something wrong with me?

I cannot describe exactly how Chris and I are feeling. To be honest, I've had some pretty negative thoughts. I'm honestly not sure how to go on. Before we were pregnant, Chris and I felt like we were okay if it didn't happen and we would make it. But to have it given to us, and then taken away is almost more than I can bear.

Almost. Tomorrow I know I will wake up and somehow make it school, Chris will make it to work. We will go on. What the future holds, I'm not sure. My aunt Mary Kay read a quote to me tonight that I'm trying to hold onto "Live without regret. When something good happens, it's wonderful. When something bad happens, its experience." Chris and I can't see the big picture right now. We can't see how this horrible situation fits in with any good path, but maybe it will. I hope that someday we can look back at this and say, "Oh, so that's why it happened like that!"

Thank you for all your love and support. We are not sure what the next step on our journey is, but if this process has taught us anything it is that we love each other unconditionally and we have the best family and friends in the world. Thanks for being there.